Dressmaker’s Guilt

Ever since we got engaged there was one thing I knew for sure about the wedding. That I’d make the dress.

Until I accidentally fell in love with THE DRESS.

I kind of knew it might happen as soon as I fell in love with a dress in the window of an exclusive bridal boutique. (Not actually the one I ended up losing my heart to, but also very pretty). I decided to try some on ‘for inspiration’ you know…well you can guess where it goes from here.

After over an hour trying on dresses, I stepped into the most beautiful, perfect creation I’ve ever even dreamt about. My Grandma, bridesmaid and the shop staff ‘ooooed’ and ‘ahhd’ over it, but I didn’t want to make a decision right then and there. I started feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Buying a dress had never really been a serious consideration. We left the shop with everyone talking about the fact that this dress was THE ONE and I had to completely agree. I’d never put on anything that made me feel so amazing.

The only thing holding me back was guilt. Yes, guilt. It’s actually taken me a few days to realise that. I couldn’t get over the fact that everyone else was expecting me to make my own dress. Would I let people down by buying one? Shouldn’t I save money by making my own? For 2 nights I lost quite a lot of sleep stressing about which was the right decision. I even got up super early one morning and started cutting out the final muslin of my dress. But my heart really wasn’t in it.

I was completely torn about what I should do:

  • I already had the fabric for my planned dress, which is very pretty.
  • If I made my dress it would never be so ‘wow’ as the dress I tried on.
  • I can make my dress so surely I should!
  • I’ve already started some prep for this dress and made some mock ups. One of which you’ve seen.
  • But maybe I want my wedding dress to be something different.
  • This new dress makes me feel like a princess.
  • The mock ups can easily be pretty summer dresses.
  • I can use most of the original fabric for other projects.
  • Perhaps it’s the one time in my life when I should feel really pampered and luxurious…..etc etc etc
  • If I make my own I’ll save a small fortune.
  • I’m no longer so excited to make my own.

And then I went to see it again with my mum. There was no going back from here. I knew it was perfect, she knew it was perfect. I had to get it. So I did.

After making that decision I felt a huge sense of relief and excitement. Relief that I’d made a decision and excitement just because the dress is out of this world. And no, you aren’t getting any sneak peaks, but rest assured I will show you PLENTY of photos soon!

In all honesty, the rest of the wedding still fills all my crafting / DIY needs. I’ve made the bridesmaid dresses, and pretty much everything else that I could see on Pinterest. Family and friends are contrubuting cake, flowers, photography etc so that feels good still.

I’m now over my dressmaker’s guilt, but it’s such a shame that I ever went through it. I felt that I’d be disappointing people about MY wedding dress and was putting far too much pressure on myself for everything to be handmade by me. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I can’t do it all.

I’m SO excited to wear my dress in a few months and I can’t wait to share it with you all when the time comes. In the meantime, you can look forward to seeing lots of non wedding related sewing around here. And I think that’s great 🙂


15 thoughts on “Dressmaker’s Guilt

  1. Pingback: I may not have made my dress, but I had great fun with the bridesmaids’ | dreaming of avonlea

  2. Pingback: Why I’m not doing Me Made May | dreaming of avonlea

  3. Congratulations on finding the dress! So glad you are excited and got through Dressmaker’s Guilt (I know it well!), you HAVE to trust your gut on decisions like this – my reasoning is that if you trust your gut you won’t regret it. And now you can enjoy the run up to the wedding with no more sleep lost over the dress! xx

  4. Yey!! I’m so glad you bought it. Half way through your post I was thinking “buy the dress!!!”. I bought the second wedding dress I tried on because I knew it was THE DRESS, so I know exactly what that feels like. Maybe if you had talked yourself out of it, you would have regretted it in the future??

  5. I can relate. Not to the wedding dress exactly, as I didn’t really sew at the time, but any other clothes for my self or my sons… I feel like i should be able to sew it all, but with a full time job, it’s just not realistic.

    So, enjoy the dress and your wedding day, and the preparations with a little less stress involved 🙂

    • That’s so true. I often walk away from things in shops because I could copy them at home, but i never get round to doing anything about it! Thanks, I will definitely enjoy the wedding and the dress!

  6. You did the right thing! I made my sister’s wedding dress, and then later when it came time for my own wedding, I didn’t really want to make another dress. I found the perfect dress for me and bought it!

  7. Congratulations on finding The Dress! What an exciting step to take in the wedding planning process. Your post stuck out to me because I’ve struggled with deciding whether or not to make my own dress, too. I went through the exact same ‘guilt,’ the (well meaning) pressure from friends, and all the reasons for making one’s own wedding dress! It’s comforting to know another dressmaker experienced, that, too. I found a dress in a bridal boutique in February that I fell absolutely in love with, even though I had already bought a pattern and some material to make one. Instead, I’m now really excited to be making a dress for a bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, and other wedding related festivities! Less stress, yet still specially handmade 🙂 Can’t wait to see what other wedding details you’ll be sharing!

    • That sounds exactly like the situation I was in. I had the pattern and fabric too, but I’m so glad I decided to buy a dress. I completely agree that now I can focus on all the fun things to sew. Making dresses for the honeymoon now- even managing to use up some lace that was originally going to be my wedding dress! Thank you so much for your comment!

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